Learning to love the unlovable, including myself
Learning to love the unlovable, including myself
I was incarcerated at Coffee Creek Correctional Facility from 2005 to 2011 for second-degree manslaughter and driving under the influence of intoxicants. I caused a fatal accident after drinking wine on an empty stomach. I killed two people, one my beloved husband, Tom, and the other, an innocent woman on her way home from work.
Prior to going to prison, I could have been your neighbor. I was an educated professional and community volunteer. I have returned to that life and am now writing a book about my experience. It’s the story of how a middle-aged mom learns to navigate life on the inside.
Over the six years I was incarcerated, I learned how to eat a meal in 10 minutes with a spork. I learned 46 recipes for ramen noodles. I learned obedience and humility. I learned lurid slang. I learned how to keep my mouth shut. I learned how to mother from behind bars, miles from my teenage daughters. And finally, I learned how to love the unlovable, including myself. My memoir will appeal to anyone who has ever survived hardship and anyone who has had to work hard at forgiving themselves. It will help readers embrace the humanity in all of us because ultimately this story is a celebration of what makes us human.
From the current news reports on OPB and other sources, incarceration of women rose 200 percent between 1994 and 2015. The elephant in the living room is Measure 11, which is tough for politicians to oppose or reform. Until judges return to judging, it remains a daily battle in our prisons solve the over crowding issue. While incarcerated, I was a maintenance worker. In 2010, to address crowding, one of my duties was to erect extra bunks. Our supervisor grimly told us that the bunks were designed to be tripled if necessary. Well, here it is.
During my six years and three months, I watched women come in on the turnstile. The inmates fell into two categories. Those with Measure 11 and those who had incentive for good time. I understand programs cost money and some do not work, but over-incarceration does not work either. Any reduction in a sentence is motivating for an inmate. Who wouldn’t want to be out a month early for Christmas? Becoming a decent citizen takes practice and affordable solutions are available. For example, as a part of returning to society, an inmate must study the requirements for US citizenship, a curriculum that’s already available.
For the taxpayer to weigh in, we must humanize the inmate. There are some leaders in our state pointed in the right direction. They are the creative thinkers of reform and made the greatest impact on me personally. One is John Haines of Mercy Corps Northwest who provides the Lifelong Information for Entrepreneurs (LIFE) and the second is Living Yoga, which brings regular classes to Coffee Creek. It is my hope that my book will contribute to that goal.
Over-incarceration just makes better criminals. The best investment for the tax payer is to provide a higher road up and out.
Learning to love the unlovable including myself
Learning to love the unlovable including myself